Stand in Your Power: Navigating Difficult Conversations at Work

Conflict. Even the word makes many of us wince.

I have recently been reflecting on my own experiences of having tricky conversations; both in my private and professional life, and I have come to the conclusion that conflict isn’t inherently bad. In fact, when handled with care, difficult conversations can become doorways to stronger relationships, better boundaries, and braver workplaces.

Last week, I had the privilege of delivering a workplace masterclass on this very topic: “Navigating Difficult Conversations in the Workplace”. Whether you're a leader trying to hold space for your team, or an employee working hard to self-advocate without rocking the boat, this session was designed to empower everyone, neurodivergent or not, to step into their power and communicate with clarity and compassion.

Why Difficult Conversations Feel So… Well, Difficult

For many of us, the fear of conflict is deeply rooted. We worry about rejection, power imbalances, saying the wrong thing, or being misunderstood. For those of us with ADHD or executive functioning challenges, emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, and impulsive reactivity can make tough conversations even tougher.

But here’s a reframe I offered in my masterclass:

It’s not about winning an argument. It’s about honouring your values, boundaries, and needs, while holding space for others to do the same.

Internal vs. External Power: Where Are You Standing?

We often enter tricky conversations from a place of external power. By external power, I mean reacting to someone's title, tone, or authority. But sustainable, effective communication starts from internal power.

Internal power is the ability to:

• Pause and respond (instead of reacting impulsively)

• Anchor into your values

• Express your needs clearly, without guilt or shame

Don't get me wrong, these skills don’t always come naturally, especially for those of us who’ve been taught to mask, fawn, or downplay our experiences. But, the good news is that they can absolutely be learned.

If you’re neurodivergent, your brain may process communication and conflict differently, and that’s not a flaw. It’s simply a cue to design strategies that work with your brain, and not fight to replicate someone else's processing modality. (For more on this, check out our Executive Skills resource ) which is a free resource designed to enhance clarity and focus for folks navigating executive dysfunction. 

Verbal Self-Defence Does Not Equal Aggression

Assertiveness is often misunderstood. It doesn’t mean being forceful or confrontational,  it's about communicating with clarity, not control.

In last week's masterclass, we explored a powerful framework I use in The Addvocacy Project 's approach to coaching. It's called I-Language (Contextual) Assertions; a simple but transformative way to express your experience without blame:

“When [this happens], I feel [emotion]. What I’d like instead is [need/request].”

For example:

“When meetings run overtime, I find it really hard to transition back to the tasks and schedule I had planned for my day. This makes me feel worried that I won't be able to meet my deadlines. I’d really appreciate a firmer wrap-up so I can better manage my focus.”

I appreciate that this approach may feel clunky, and kind of fake, or even forced. However, with practice, I can promise you that this approach creates space for accountability without activating defensiveness, a win-win in any workplace.

Regulating in Real-Time: Tools to Stay Calm Under Pressure

Conflict doesn’t just happen in words. It happens in our bodies. Many neurodivergent folks experience what I call the “ADHD Tornado”, where overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, and sensory sensitivity collide in high-stakes moments.

That’s why we also explored tools for staying grounded during tough talks, including:

• Box breathing (In 4 – Hold 4 – Out 4 – Pause 4)

• Visualising a safe space or mental anchor

• Repeating a calming mantra or phrase internally

• The power of the pause – giving yourself permission to step away and return when ready

The Bottom Line? Everyone Benefits From These Skills

Whether you're neurotypical, neurodivergent, or still working that out, the truth is universal:

Every brain deserves tools for self-expression.
Every person deserves a voice.
Every workplace needs brave, kind communication.

If your team is ready to move beyond “just avoiding conflict” and into genuine, respectful, and empowered communication, I’d love to bring this session to your organisation. Let’s build a culture where conversations, even the tricky ones, are handled with care and courage.

Want More Support?

• Learn more about my coaching here 

• Subscribe for more ADHD resources and insights here

• Or reach out directly – I’d love to support your team’s growth from the inside out.

At The Addvocacy Project, we don’t shy away from hard conversations. We stand in our truth, speak with clarity, and support every brain to be heard.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

Warmly,
Caroline Beresford
Founder & ADHD Executive Function Coach, Speaker
www.theaddvocacyproject.com