Whale Leadership vs Shark Leadership: The Leadership Skill That Prevents Burnout

Humpback whales can teach us a lot about emotional regulation, workplace wellbeing, and the what good leadership looks like...stay with me, this will make more sense when you read on!

Living in Sydney, one of my favourite things about this time of year is the arrival of the humpback whales.

Right now, thousands of whales are making their annual migration north along Australia's east coast, travelling from Antarctica to warmer breeding waters. The stretch of coastline they travel has become affectionately known as the "Humpback Highway."

Every year, these extraordinary creatures travel thousands of kilometres with purpose, patience, and remarkable consistency.

Recently, whales found their way into an unexpected coaching conversation.

During a session with my own coach, Liz, we were discussing emotional regulation, leadership, and my tendency to jump into situations before anyone has actually asked me to.

At one point she asked a simple question:

"What would it look like if you showed up more like a whale?"

I laughed.

Then I immediately realised she might be onto something.

Because if I'm honest, there are times when I don't operate like a whale at all.

There are times when I operate more like a bull shark.

Reactive.

Protective.

Always scanning for problems.

Always ready to jump in.

Always convinced that helping means intervening.

The more I sat with the idea, the more I realised this wasn't simply a conversation about parenting or coaching.

It was a conversation about leadership.

And perhaps one of the most important leadership conversations we need to be having right now.

The Burnout Crisis Is Real

Leaders today are operating in a very different environment than they were even a decade ago.

We're navigating rapid technological change, economic uncertainty, talent shortages, hybrid work, increasing mental health challenges, and a level of connectivity that means work can follow us almost anywhere.

The pressure is relentless.

The expectation to respond immediately has become normalised.

The result?

Many workplaces are operating in a constant state of urgency.

And people are paying the price.

Recent Australian workplace research suggests that approximately 46% of workers report experiencing some degree of burnout.

Beyond Blue has reported that one in two Australians are experiencing workplace burnout, with excessive workload, lack of support, and inflexible work practices among the leading contributors.

Research also indicates that 41% of Australian workers experience ongoing stress, while more than one-third remain at high risk of poor mental health outcomes.

Globally, Gallup's latest workplace research found employee engagement remains at just 20%, highlighting a workforce that is increasingly disconnected, depleted, and struggling to thrive.

When organisations look at these statistics, the conversation often focuses on workload.

And while workload certainly matters, I believe there is another factor that deserves far more attention:

Leadership behaviour.

More specifically:

Could part of the problem be that our workplaces are full of sharks?

The Rise of Reactive Leadership

Somewhere along the way, many leaders started believing that great leadership means:

• Being available all the time
• Responding immediately
• Solving every problem
• Having all the answers
• Carrying the responsibility for everyone else's success

At first glance, these behaviours look admirable.

They can even be rewarded.

But over time they create a dangerous cycle.

The leader becomes the bottleneck.

The team becomes dependent.

The leader becomes exhausted.

And capability across the team stalls.

I call this Bull Shark Leadership.

What Is Bull Shark Leadership?

Bull sharks are fast.

Reactive.

Protective.

Always alert to potential threats, and often found in places where they shouldn't be.

Bull Shark Leaders often look remarkably similar.

They:

• Jump into problems before others have attempted to solve them
• React immediately to issues
• Feel responsible for every outcome
• Carry the emotional load of the team
• Answer emails at all hours
• Struggle to switch off
• Accidentally micromanage
• Rescue people from discomfort

Now, before you decide this sounds terrible, let me say something important.

Most Bull Shark Leaders are not bad leaders.

In fact, many are exceptional human beings.

They care deeply.

They work incredibly hard.

They genuinely want their people to succeed.

Their intentions are good.

The challenge is that their behaviour often creates the opposite outcome.

Instead of building capability, they create dependence.

Instead of reducing stress, they absorb it.

Instead of empowering others, they unintentionally teach people to rely on them.

They're not controlling because they don't care.

They're controlling because they care too much.

Why Emotional Regulation Is Becoming a Leadership Superpower

One of the most overlooked leadership skills today is emotional regulation.

At The Addvocacy Project, we talk extensively about executive functions - the cognitive skills that help us manage ourselves, our behaviour, and our actions.

One of these executive skills is emotional control: the ability to manage emotions in order to direct behaviour effectively and achieve our goals. Emotional control is one of the core executive skills required to navigate modern life successfully.

This matters enormously in leadership.

Because emotions are contagious.

A stressed leader rarely creates a calm team.

An overwhelmed leader rarely creates confidence.

A reactive leader rarely creates thoughtful decision-making.

Whether we realise it or not, leaders set the emotional tone of the workplace.

When leaders operate from urgency, teams often absorb that urgency.

When leaders operate from fear, teams become risk-averse.

When leaders operate from calm, teams gain confidence.

Researchers refer to this phenomenon as emotional contagion.

Our nervous systems constantly influence one another.

Which means leadership is not just about decision-making.

It's about regulation.

The most effective leaders I work with aren't necessarily the smartest people in the room.

They're often the most emotionally regulated.

Enter Whale Leadership

This is where the whale metaphor becomes powerful.

Humpback whales travel enormous distances every year.

Yet they don't rush.

They move with purpose.

They surface intentionally.

They stay connected to their pod.

They conserve energy.

They respond rather than react.

Imagine if more leaders operated in the same way.

Whale Leaders:

1. Create Calm

Whale leaders understand that urgency is contagious.

Rather than amplifying stress, they create stability.

Their presence lowers anxiety rather than increasing it.

2. Coach Rather Than Rescue

When challenges arise, they don't immediately jump in with solutions.

Instead, they ask questions.

They encourage thinking.

They build capability.

3. Build Trust

Whale leaders trust their people.

Not blindly.

Intentionally.

They recognise that trust is one of the fastest ways to develop confidence and ownership.

4. Focus on Long-Term Capability

Rather than solving today's problem, they focus on building tomorrow's capability.

They understand that sustainable leadership is about developing people, not creating dependency.

5. Stay Connected Without Controlling

Whales remain connected to their pod without micromanaging every movement.

The same applies to great leaders.

Connection does not require control.

The Missing Ingredient: Psychological Safety

This brings us to one of the most important workplace concepts of the last decade: psychological safety.

Psychological safety refers to an environment where people feel safe to contribute ideas, ask questions, challenge assumptions, admit mistakes, and learn without fear of humiliation or punishment.

Research consistently shows that psychologically safe teams outperform those operating in fear-based environments.

When psychological safety is high:

• Innovation increases
• Learning accelerates
• Collaboration improves
• Engagement grows
• Performance improves

When psychological safety is low:

• People stay quiet
• Risks go unspoken
• Mistakes remain hidden
• Innovation declines

This is where Whale Leadership becomes particularly powerful.

Because shark leadership often undermines psychological safety without meaning to.

When leaders constantly provide the answers, people stop thinking for themselves.

When leaders rescue repeatedly, people stop taking ownership.

When leaders intervene too quickly, they communicate:

"I don't think you can do this without me."

Whale leadership communicates something entirely different.

"I believe you can figure this out."

And that belief changes everything.

People don't grow when someone constantly rescues them.

People grow when someone believes they can swim.

Why High Performers and ADHD Leaders Need This Conversation

This conversation is particularly relevant for high performers, especially for leaders with ADHD.

Many of the Leaders living with ADHD or ADHD traits I coach are extraordinary.

They:

• Think quickly
• Spot opportunities quickly
• Identify risks quickly
• Generate solutions quickly
• Care deeply about people

These are incredible strengths.

But they can also create challenges.

When your brain moves quickly, the gap between noticing and responding can become very small.

A problem appears.

A solution appears.

Almost instantly.

Not because you don't trust people.

Because you're trying to help.

Because you're engaged.

Because you care.

The challenge becomes creating enough space between the trigger and the response.

Enough space to ask:

"Does this problem actually belong to me?"

That pause is often where great leadership begins.

Three Questions Every Leader Should Ask

As I've reflected on my own leadership over the years, and the experiences of my leadership clients more recently, I've recognised three questions that all leaders benefit from asking themselves:

1. What problems am I solving that don't belong to me?

2. Where is my reactivity creating dependence instead of growth?

3. How can I create more psychological safety this week?

The answers are often revealing.

Overtime, I have learnt that leadership isn't about doing more. 

Sometimes it's about stepping back.

Sometimes it's about listening longer.

Sometimes it's about trusting others sooner.

Final Thoughts

As I think about the humpbacks making their annual journey north along our coastline, I keep coming back to one simple question:

What kind of leader do I want to be remembered as?

The leader who reacted to everything?

Or the leader whose calm presence helped others thrive?

In a world facing increasing levels of burnout, stress, disengagement, distrust and uncertainty, perhaps the leaders we need most aren't the fastest.

They aren't the busiest.

They aren't the ones responding to emails at midnight.

They're the steadiest.

The most intentional.

The most emotionally regulated.

The ones who create workplaces where people feel safe enough to learn, contribute, grow, and thrive.

Less shark.

More whale.

🐳

If you'd like to explore how emotional regulation, executive function, and leadership capability can strengthen your workplace culture, we'd love to help. At The Addvocacy Project, we work with organisations, leaders, and high-performing professionals to build the skills that create healthier, more sustainable workplaces.

Key Takeaways

• Emotional regulation is becoming one of the most important leadership skills in modern workplaces.
• Psychological safety is strongly linked to employee engagement, innovation, and performance.
• Leaders who constantly rescue and solve problems may unintentionally create dependency.
• Burnout prevention requires both organisational support and emotionally intelligent leadership.
• Whale Leadership focuses on trust, capability building, emotional regulation, and sustainable performance.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is Whale Leadership?

Whale Leadership is a leadership approach focused on emotional regulation, psychological safety, trust, and intentional decision-making. Unlike reactive leadership styles that focus on constant intervention, Whale Leaders create calm, build capability, and empower others to solve problems independently.

What is the difference between Whale Leadership and Shark Leadership?

Whale Leadership focuses on responding thoughtfully, building trust, and developing people over time.

Shark Leadership is characterised by constant reactivity, problem-solving, rescuing, and over-functioning. While often well-intentioned, Shark Leadership can create dependency, increase stress, and contribute to burnout.

Why is emotional regulation important for leaders?

Emotional regulation is a critical leadership skill because leaders set the emotional tone of their teams. Research shows that emotions are contagious in workplaces, meaning a leader's stress, urgency, or calmness can directly influence employee wellbeing, engagement, and performance.

How does leadership impact workplace burnout?

Leadership behaviours play a significant role in employee wellbeing. Leaders who create unrealistic expectations, constantly intervene, or operate from a place of urgency can unintentionally contribute to stress and burnout. Conversely, leaders who foster trust, psychological safety, and healthy boundaries can improve wellbeing and resilience.

What is psychological safety in the workplace?

Psychological safety refers to an environment where employees feel safe to share ideas, ask questions, admit mistakes, and challenge thinking without fear of embarrassment or punishment. High levels of psychological safety are associated with greater innovation, collaboration, engagement, and team performance.

How can leaders create psychological safety?

Leaders can create psychological safety by listening actively, encouraging diverse perspectives, asking questions rather than providing immediate answers, responding constructively to mistakes, and demonstrating empathy and trust.

Why do high-performing leaders struggle with emotional regulation?

Many high performers are highly driven, solution-focused, and deeply invested in outcomes. These strengths can sometimes lead to over-functioning, micromanagement, or taking responsibility for problems that belong to others. Developing emotional regulation helps leaders respond more intentionally and sustainably.

What role does ADHD play in leadership?

Many leaders with ADHD bring strengths such as creativity, innovation, rapid problem-solving, and strategic thinking. However, challenges with emotional regulation and impulsivity can sometimes lead to reactive leadership behaviours. With awareness and support, ADHD leaders can harness their strengths while building greater emotional control and resilience.

 

References

Beyond Blue. (2024). Workplace burnout and mental health in Australia. Retrieved from https://www.beyondblue.org.au

Gallup. (2024). State of the Global Workplace Report. Retrieved from https://www.gallup.com

Edmondson, A. (2018). The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. Wiley.

Google. (2016). Project Aristotle: Understanding Team Effectiveness. Retrieved from https://rework.withgoogle.com

Goleman, D. (1998). Working with Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books.

Telus Health. (2024). Mental Health Index Australia. Retrieved from https://www.telushealth.com

World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an occupational phenomenon: International Classification of Diseases. Retrieved from https://www.who.int

Harvard Business Review. (Various Authors). Articles on psychological safety, leadership effectiveness, emotional intelligence, and workplace wellbeing. Retrieved from https://hbr.org